I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize