Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
