he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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