Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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