so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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