:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize