hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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