why do cheetos always look like penises
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
