Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
