if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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