Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
