But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I am naked and annoyed.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
