Banned from zoo.
Again?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
