I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
