why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
