Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
