Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize