We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
