i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
