Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
