last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
