eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize
