Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.