Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Never underestimate the power of titties
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
