sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize