Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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