I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
