Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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