tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize