He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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