two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize