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imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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