see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.