That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.