i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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