Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
