Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
