Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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