have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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