I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
