i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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