he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
