OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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