Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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