Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're making bets on your personal life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
