New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
