He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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