I think I won the penis lottery.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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