I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My hand turned me down
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
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I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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