Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
