Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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