You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You need a sexual gate keeper
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
