so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
