dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
