its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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