Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
